Part 1 of a multi-part series.

As every good American knows, and as Christ 2.0, Mr. Trump, confirms, “a vote for any Democrat in 2020 is a vote for the rise of radical socialism and the destruction of the American dream.” Since by his own trustworthy admission Mr. Trump is the most intelligent human being alive, how could anyone question him?

The majority of Democrats, it is true, deny his accusations with babbling phrases like “democratic capitalism” and theatrical avowals of being “capitalist to the bone.” Are most Democrats scheming socialists in disguise? Could Mr. Trump be mistaken for the first time in his life? What is socialism anyways, and does it have anything to do with the Democratic Party? In a series of articles, The Thresher will verge on the unpardonable sin — blasphemy against the Holy Windbag — by suggesting a momentary lapse (I dare not say error) on Mr. Trump’s part. Pious and patriotic Americans can rest assured. Despite claims to the contrary on every side of the political spectrum, socialism of the “radical” variety — in the sense of fundamental, original, getting to the root — cannot be voted into office.

Certainly many proponents of socialism seem unconcerned with getting to the root of things. Friends and foes alike generally agree that socialism goes hand in hand with government. To their credit, most socialists today reject the authoritarian regimes that did or still do claim the name. Nevertheless, these democratic socialists typically differ from their totalitarian relatives in only one respect, albeit a crucial one. Old-fashioned militants like Fidel Castro and Vladimir Lenin aimed to achieve what they believed to be socialism through the violent takeover of government. Many, not all, democratic socialists aim to do so through the elected takeover of government.

Government remains central to both — for the former, a highly centralized state of appointed bureaucrats; for the latter, a highly centralized state of elected bureaucrats. A number of democratic socialists, to be sure, want to democratize our current political processes more thoroughly. This admirable aim, however, takes backseat to more urgent government intervention proposals, like the Green New Deal. It is no surprise, then, that today’s socialists often dismiss concerns about big government as right-wing propaganda.

To be fair, many conservatives attack big government while disbelieving or ignoring the colossal threat that capitalism poses to our planetary existence. (The popular mistaken identifications of this threat — as political correctness, immigration, globalism — are too intellectually slipshod to consider right now.) We will have occasion to investigate the nature of capitalism in the next article of this series. For now, it is enough to recognize that at a time of declining government regulation, and when no clear steps are taken to restore individual liberty and local autonomy, the Amazons, Facebooks, and Walmarts of the world are filling the void.

If many conservatives have it their way, it is such large corporations, and not Family, Religion, or any other schmaltzy totem of yesteryear, that will have uncontested reign over every aspect of our existence. We are thus presented with two options in American politics right now: government tyranny or corporate tyranny. Centrists take the principled stand of advocating a diluted version of either — depending on the weather and the scientific polling of a dozen bot-like Boomers by MSNBC.

But what about those who reject tyranny in all its guises? What about those who recognize the irrationality of government bureaucracy and the injustice of corporate hierarchies? What about those who want to promote liberty without sacrificing equality and camaraderie — and vice versa?

This series is dedicated to such politically displaced people, who are perhaps more numerous than we realize. Such people are not doomed to embrace one of two types of tyranny. There is a different option, which alone deserves the name “socialism” and has nothing to do with either the Left’s prevailing governmentalism or the Right’s seedy corporate lackeyism. As will become clear over the course of this series, such radical socialism aims for nothing more and nothing less than the realization of the traditional republican and democratic principles of liberty, equality, and camaraderie, for each and every individual, in truth and not only on paper.